Six months into having become a mom, I knew that I could - and wanted - to do more than what I was currently doing. But when the little one caught a cold and the inevitable tiredness of being a new mom (and a working mom) reached an all time high, I was struggling with a negative attitude and with feeling defeated. I knew that those were just beliefs brought up by tiredness, but because of the tiredness I couldn’t shake them off, and I asked a friend to coach me around it.
In the coaching I realised that trying to push past the tiredness with ‘Come on! Get off your lazy butt!’ was just feeding the negative feelings and the voices in my head that were putting me down. If I wanted to do the things that I knew I was capable of, that I wanted to do and that I knew would do me good, the answer was not more pressure but rather compassion. Compassion for me sleep-walking through the day because I was getting sleep only in one- to two-hours instalments. Compassion for only being able to think and strategise around the question of how to squeeze another nap into my day. Looking at myself with this compassion, I was reminded of the last agreement from the book ‘The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz which is (in my words):
Always do your best - and sometimes your best is very little on a given day.
When I look at myself with compassion I ask: Given the way I feel right now, what is the best I can do? And the answer might be: 10% or 1% or something completely different from what I had planned or from what I think I should do. By being compassionate, I allow myself to deliver whatever is my best on a certain day, to do it purposefully and be proud of myself instead of beating myself up and ending up doing nothing because the self-flagellation sucks any remaining resolve, inspiration, or energy right out of me.
Are you ready to stop beating yourself up and start doing what you know you are able to do? Even if the clear path on how to get there currently escapes you, let’s discover it and go there together!
I believe that having fun and being seriously at work go together: my coaching sessions are deep and playful with a spirit of ‘anything goes’ and ‘nothing is out of place’. Thanks to this approach, I lead and leave sessions energised - even on no sleep :-D.